Grown-ups And Desperation

Josie has a job, and she brings in the spare cash that will buy her clothes and pay back everybody she owes (except her parents). She even gave some to church and ten dollars to a neighbor lady down on her luck. So all in all, I'm quite proud of my fourteen year old.

There are some days she brings home only twenty dollars for working five hours. She depends on tips, and the head waitress takes the "good" tables and gives the two teenagers the bad (or non-inhabited) tables. The head waitress brings home over a hundred dollars on those days, and Josie and her friend bring home their scant twenty-something. I said to Josie, "You are friends with the owner, why not say something? This makes me mad!!" She said, "Well, they like her because she's the only one who can work all through the week in the mornings. We have to go to school." I said, "But this isn't right! I was in there this morning, you guys were busting your butts and taking all the food out and getting refills. Where was this other girl? Why is she getting all the money you worked for? Let me talk to the owner for you!"

Josie said, "Never mind, Mom. I made good money the rest of the weekend. Anyhow, I feel sorry for that lady. She has to support her family on tips. Can you imagine, being her age and that's the only kind of job you can get?" I saw her point.

In the end, Josie sees it for what it is. She walks less than a quarter of a mile to work, so no gas or transportation fees. She isn't doing anything else with her time, and she's making mall money. She's saving up for a nice car. She works only weekends, and it's cash. It's profit, and she's not slaving at it like some people have to. And she sees how grown-ups act when they are scratching for a living.

You Just Can't Tell

Today a nice young man helped Josie and I out with the groceries. He was muscular, had a nice clean haircut, and had been joking all along with her about school stuff. Driving out of the parking lot, I commented, "What a nice young man. Maybe you could date him." I only half meant it; I was just drawing attention to his cordial manners.

Josie smiled wanly and shook her head. "He isn't. He's really big into drugs." I was incredulous. "Wow. And you can't even tell it." She replied, "Ya. It's some kind of legal drug, like Loritabs. He has a prescription, and he lies to his mom about taking them. He saves them up and takes them all at once. He offered me one once, I told him no."

"That's horrible," I replied after much thought. "And he looks so nice. He's ruining himself and he doesn't even know it." It really made me think about drugs, and how often my kids might have been offered them.

What It's All About

Well, I chose the Naked Dating Club as a blog title before I knew there really was one. However, it is all about the spirit of the thing. Wouldn't it be nice to go somewhere where the people are genuine and they say what they mean? A lot of a person's day is spent sorting out the truth.

People speak like Shakespeare wrote; there is about three layers. Take, for example, the answer to Susie Somebody's question. Her question is, "Bobby Bonehead, my new boyfriend, wouldn't answer my phone calls last night. And then I heard that Brenda Brrrittzsky, known for her big boobs, was talking to him at the football game last night. Did you see her talking to him??!?!"

And the person she asks is thinking, Gosh. Look at all those question marks and exclamation points. Yeah, I saw Brenda Brrrritzsky talking to Bonehead, but Suzie is a real pain and even though we are in tenth grade I am still hurting from that time she embarrassed me in eighth grade band camp during lunch in front of those hot guys. I don't want to get involved really because this is stupid. So I'll answer like this: "Um. I saw her talk to him for like, two minutes or so. I think she was asking him for directions to Darin's party. But then Bobby hung out with his friends and threw popcorn at the little kids. So, did you get your biology done?"

So now we put the reply through the Shakespeare filter, and this is what we get: "I saw her talk to him for, like, two minutes" really means I only saw two minutes of it, but rumor says he was talking to her for at least half the game. "I think she was asking him for directions to Darin's party" - True Dat. She did ask him directions. But Brenda Brrrittzsky lives on Darin's street. "Bobby hung out with his friends and threw popcorn at the little kids" - well, one little kid, really. It was Bobby's ten-year-old cousin who was annoying Bobby and his friends as they got ready to leave, so he dumped a bag of popcorn over his head.

Okay, so that said, back to the point. The Naked Dating Club is all about being as real as we can get. With our clothes on.

Underwear Party

My son says to me, "Mom, is it okay if I have a bunch of people over on Saturday?" I said, "How many?" He said, "A lot. It's Jacob's party, really, but he wants to hold it over here." I said, "But why does he not hold the party at his house? I don't really want loads of people over here I don't know. And who's going to watch them? I don't want to watch them!" I was exasperated. He said, "Yeah, I know. But Jacob wants to hold an underwear party, and his mom won't put up with that stuff."
"Underwear party?" I said. "What's an underwear party?"
"It's a party where everyone wears only their underwear. And anyhow, it's not like we aren't all friends."
"But... I don't know if I want to hold that at my house. How do I know they won't be doing... stuff? Argh! I can't deal!"
"Mom, it's no big deal. Like, girls wear the same type of clothes at a beach. Swimming suits. And anyhow, we're friends. It'd be just wrong if anyone tried to do something."
"But why does it have to be an underwear party? Why can't it be a regular party, for example?"
"Because - who has ever had an underwear party? That's right, no one."
"Well, hmm. That's an interesting concept. I'll think about it." And I'm still thinking about it.

Teen Life Part 1

My daughter got a job. This is amazing, I thought. For once the giant sucking sound isn't coming from my purse, it's coming from someone else's pocket. Her boss is Greek and cooks really good food. Every night after work he sends her home with two large containers of from-scratch soup. I tell her it must be because he thinks she needs fattening up.

One evening my son came home and said, "Where's Josie?" His friend Jacob was behind him. They are wrestlers. I said, "She's at work. Making money. You know." They started laughing, and kept on laughing, their faces were turning red. He said, "Josie has a job. A JOB?!?" I was like, "Ya. Sure. So why's it so funny to you? 'Cause I know why it's funny to me. She's not siphoning out of my purse anymore." Jacob said, "Because Josie - you gotta know how she is - at lunch, she comes over to the senior's table and all the guys are getting out their wallets, they don't even know why. Dan tried to collect two dollars from her the other day and she just laughed at him." I said, "But what happens to the twenty dollars I give her every two weeks for lunch? What does she do with it?" The boys shook their heads. "Who knows? Wow, Josie has a job..."